By Mr. Prince, House Of Royals | OfficeofMrPrince.com/InnerChambers
“We were told the desires of our own flesh were sin, and that control over another was corruption. So we ordained them both sacred. We baptized ourselves in sweat and surrender, in protocol and discipline, to wash away our once-blasphemous indoctrinations. We turned shame into sacrament, degradation into divination, service into salvation, authority into anointing, and pleasure into purity. Blessed be What It Is That We Do.” -Father Prince
My family growing up was Christian -Baptist to be more specific. And while I was raised in a Baptist home, my parents sent me to a Catholic school from first to eighth grade. It was a place of tradition, discipline, and structure. And of course it wouldn’t be a Catholic school without a touch of corporal punishment. Such as a pop on the hand with a ruler or yardstick, a paddling, or even a spanking – subtle, but present.
There were school nuns on staff, and a priest was assigned to the Catholic church directly across the street. We wore uniforms every day -navy blue plants and light blue button-downs or polo shirts for the boys, matching plaid skirts and blouses for the girls. It was just a tad proper. We learned the standard subjects for our age, but we also had a daily religion class focussed on Catholic doctrine, complete with a religion textbook and occasional school-wide Mass held in the church. It was interesting to see the differences and slight similarities in rituals between Baptist and Catholicism. Like how music was played and sung, to how prayers were recited, and the objects of symbolism held sacred.
I would often make jokes -dirty ones- with other kids as we all got older and began going through changes. I would say things like, “Father Dixon, must be blessing and anointing Sister Mary’s booty in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit – forever and ever…” Said in the very tone and cadence as he would use during mass. If you know you know.
As you can probably tell I was quite the handful.
But it wasn’t just jokes. I found myself genuinely intrigued -even aroused- by religious imagery and what naughty narratives I would come up with in my head. Not just Christian imagery either. I had a fascination with world religions, both monotheistic and polytheistic. I would go to the library and research Greek mythology, African tradition religions, and other belief systems across time and cultures.
I remember seeing depictions of gods and goddesses -bare skinned, fierce, sensual. Some nude. Some covered in silks, adorned with gold and ritual markings. Goddesses of love. Deities of fertility. Orisha of beauty and sexuality Sacred whores. Succubi and Incubi who would devour a portion of your life force as compensation for giving humans indescribable orgasms. Warriors and kings who not only worshiped but also coveted others’ wives – and did whatever they could to have them. I would read myths and parables about divine beings who felt lust, who gave and received pleasure, who punished and blessed – if fed into my imagination. Tales of witches and sorcery, erotic sacrifice, ecstatic dance… it didn’t feel sinful. It felt thrilling!
Still, If you were to ask anyone where I’m from?
Blasphemous.
Sinful.
Not of God.
To be honest: I’ve never been a religious person -especially not in the ways most people mean it. I guess for me, it’s always been more spiritual. I never truly caught the holy ghost, never spoke in tongues, or felt some demonic lifted off me once hands were laid on me. Even praying was difficult for me to do. When I did however feel the most divine during times of intimacy, eroticism, kink, receiving service, and having sex. In both Baptist spaces and Catholic ones -as well as others -I learned that asking too many questions was frowned upon. Even as a once-married adult, it still made people uncomfortable to hear questions like: “If the marriage bed is undefiled, then why can’t we explore things that some church folks might call deviant?”
So I learned early that control, sexuality, and curiosity were all considered suspect.
As a Black American -descendant of chattel slavery- with possibly some Indigenous ancestry woven somewhere in my family line… I’ve always struggled to understand why our people still hold on so tightly to religion. With all the violence, racism, objectification, subjugation, and discrimination brought by colonizers -people who intentionally misinterpreted the “Good Word” to justify manifest destiny to damn near wipe out a people for land they were not native to, bring faith and so-called civility to a “savage” people and enslave them -I couldn’t make peace with it. All aspects of our humanity were oppressed and repressed for hundreds of years in this country. For generations, Black Folks in the U.S. have been offered salvation at the cost of sensuality. Many Black churches (as well as others) especially in conservative spaces, queerness is silenced, kink is demonized, and control is righteous by only those ordained in the church. This creates a deep spiritual dissonance. We are taught to submit to God but forbidden to submit in pleasure. We are called to serve -but only in ways that erase desire and replace it with duty to uphold “The Word” of God. We are told to repent for who we are, and feelings that we didn’t choose.
Somewhere between the church hopping off and on, becoming agnostic, discovering kink and BDSM, and the attending dungeons -I began to realize something:
Religion -by itself- wasn’t just set of rules of oppression and repression
It was structure.
It was protocol.
It was ritual.
It was punishment
It was submission
It was service.
It was power.
Starting to sound familiar?
As I came into myself as a Dominant. I realized I had never fully let go of these old aspects of Religion. I simply found a place to reinvent them in a way that my desires and the desires of those who serve me are fulfilled. Transformed and repurposed them in ways that honored my truth. My kink. My need to provide structure and to engage in consensual intentional imbalanced power dynamics.
I would toy around with the taboo topic of religion in my scenes and moments of intimacy with religious and spiritual partners, hold prayer as someone feels the spirit to speak in tongues in pleasure, engaged in sensual blood rituals as foreplay, bible study during sex as scripture is read aloud by partner who rides my uncut dick to orgasmic freedom. While exploring these things more I discovered for myself and began to understand the differences in Religious and Sacreligious play. Where one seeks to honor the rituals, show reverence, and to adhere to protocols of the faith. The other is about rebellion, intentional desecration, and catharsis. Both are powerful.
Want to explore more?
Stay tuned for part 2 and conclusion of the “Holy Kink and Sacred Shame” Blog series
Look out for upcoming class:
“Holy Kink & Sacred Sacrilege: Religious & Sacrilegious Play in Black BDSM
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