Holy Kink & Sacred Shame: My Story of Playing With Religion (Part 2)

Oh! Hello there! Welcome back. 

Well…hmmm… where was I? 

I guess you’re here for what’s next. 

Ah yes. 

If part one was a “laying down of my burdens at the altar” this will be my offering and repentance. If that was my “confession” then this here will be my penance as a part of a sacrament of reconciliation. Certainly not because of sorrow for sins or making amends for playing with what some say is taboo and blasphemous to bring into kink. Oh no, no, no… Repentance as my ever-growing self awareness of my desire and love to engage in the taboo–specifically religion in this offering and allowing others to try and damn me for it. And my penance to share how others can potentially engage in it without worry of being shunned or feeling shame–unless you’re into that type of thing. If so, I pray you get to give and receive all the consensual shame your heart can take.

Once I stopped running from religion and started playing with it, I realized just how deep the roots went. Those roots would break the surface at times and reveal themselves to me within the rituals, protocols, and rules I would create with dynamics. So many of us, especially Black folks, are carrying the echoes of sacred language, ceremony, and shame inside our bodies. And when we enter the dungeon, a scene, or a dynamic it disappears. It shapeshifts. Sometimes it’s ritual and reverence — a submissive on their knees, reciting a mantra or prayer while hands are bound together in contrition. Sometimes it’s desecration — like lube used as holy water to pour over a rosary to be used as anal beads during a scene of intentional defilement. Either way, it’s powerful and sacred in their own way. But the difference between Religious play and Sacrilegious play ain’t just in the props. It’s in the intention.

Religious play is about reverence. It draws the rituals and symbols of a faith — sometimes one you were raised in, sometimes one you feel drawn to. It may involve prayer, scripture, ritual garments, or acts of submission that mirror devotion. It’s not about mocking or tearing anything down. It’s about accessing something deeper: ritual, obedience, structure, spirit, discipline, and yes — even worship.

Sacrilegious play, on the other hand, is where fire comes in. It’s about intentional desecration. It’s rage work. It’s catharsis. It’s reclaiming what harmed you by fucking with it — sometimes literally. It’s a way to confront shame head-on. To spit in the face of indoctrination. To light the match on the altar that once condemned your pleasure. And for some it’s potentially the only way to be free.

It’s important to remember that neither is wrong. But both require consent, intention, and safety. And a hell of a lot of emotional awareness — especially for us as Black folks, where religion has been both a refuge for us and a weapon against us.

At the risk of revealing too much of what I plan to teach in a class closely tied to these methods of play, I want to advise that there are quite a few things to consider. So, before you bring religion into kink – or kink into religion – ask yourself: 

• What  part of my religious or spiritual past still lives in my body?
• Is this about honoring something sacred, or confronting something harmful?
• What emotions come up when I see or touch things that are said to be sacred objects?
• Do I want to feel closer to a faith-or burn it all down for what was done to me and or others?
• Is this mine to play with? Or does it belong to someone else’ culture, pain, or practice?
• Am I doing this from a place of healing, performance, rebellion – or all of the above?

There are no wrong answers. Only right answers for you to help determine your reasons, intentions, and goals to engage or not engage in such a method of play.

Some will never understand why we do what we do. They won’t see the kneeling as devotion, the ritual as release, the flogging as purification, or the sweat as baptism. They won’t know what it means to reclaim holy things that once damned us – to touch them with new hands and new power. But we know. We remember. We feel it in our bones, in our flesh, in our bruises – physically and emotionally.

Whether your scene is baptized in reverence or drenched in rebellion… whether it whispers “Amen,” and “Ase,” or a scream of “Fuck god” and a moan of “Fuck me with the word of god” – it’s all sacred, if you say it is.

It’s your altar now.

Your faith

Your scene

Your power

Your rebellion or reverence- maybe even both.

Blessed Be What It Is That We Do.